Daily Prompt: This Is Your Life

 

If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.

Would I? My very first reaction, No I wouldn’t. But then I started thinking, would it be so crazy if I did? Wouldn’t it be nice to kind of know?

Let’s see I need to read it back to back and I can’t change the events in the end? I love a good book, but my life would probably be a big drama as I can be a bit of a drama queen, maybe have something fun in between and then end in disaster. I’m really big on happy endings and the story of a life, well there’s just no possibility of there being a happy ending! You leave all your beloved ones behind, have to say goodbye to your nice or not so nice anymore boobs, your smile, the sunshine, the sound of a good song, everything that was once so dear. So you end up reading the thing and you know it’s going to end so badly, you could easily be depressed for months and months. Wow no thanks.

It just doesn’t make sense to me, you’ll read every mistake you’ll ever make, thinking ‘I’m not going to do that’ and end up doing it anyway. Seems so helpless, like watching a movie, the scenes all pass you by, all you can do is sit by and watch it happen and although you want it to end differently so badly, there’s nothing you can do. I’m guessing it would just drive me crazy.
On the other side you might have an insight in something good that’s coming up and might be able to hold yourself up some more until that moment arrives. It might actually be nice to know everything will be all right, I’d probably worry and doubt a lot less. It surely would make my head feel less heavy!

So having said that it could make my life easier as well as more fucked up makes it no easier to decide. Still I wouldn’t do it, since I’d choose a hard life over one in the mental prison of myself any day. Yet another thing, wouldn’t it be so boring? Don’t you like the surprise of what the next day might bring? I have neither an exclusively love nor hate relationship with the factor surprise. I guess you could call us frenemies! Sometimes you hate it and sometimes you just can’t get enough!

And last but not least, it would kill all my dreams. Although I know most of them won’t come true, I love to hold on to my childhood dreams, I love hoping they’ll all come true someday. My dreams keep my head high and pull me right through another rough day. Reaching out to those thoughts and pursuing those dreams can be much more fun and much more of a help than actually reaching them. So even if that book tells you all your dreams will come true, It couldn’t possibly feel the same.

So this time I’m sticking with my first thought! I don’t believe they’re always the right ones though, but this time I’m convinced! I wouldn’t read it for the world! Just let me live that crappy life and feel every moment to the deepest!

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