My heart it dug it’s grave
My heart forgot to jump the wave
But I have to find a way
A way to let my heart stay

I have to crumble out of the graves dirt
And swim through the waves rage
And even thought braking through hurts
I need to crawl and brake for only then can I escape the cage

A prison build by hope
A feeling, that won’t let you cope
a feeling so strong
It makes you believe you are where you belong

I can’t believe,
I won’t believe
For I feel done
For I now need to run

Run run far away
till loneliness
and happiness
find a way

A place where they both can stay

As pain dangles down into a deep empty regret

Words no longer have the same meaning

And although a change would be the favorable bet

The change would end op giving more grieving

As from the moment you knew it was wrong

You went along

Telling yourself no harm would be done

If only your focus would prevent it to be gone

As a body sometimes fools the mind,

The mind makes it’s own grave

Waving feelings, before grief can be find

Putting them away in a safe

Only then to realize what goes in will come out

and although the reader might have his doubt

The haunt will start with the opening of the cage

And tears will fall down in a distinguished rage

a friend like …

As the curtain fell over our friendship
I have never missed you more
hurt and lost, you left me alone on the stage floor
tears of grieve make me slip

Slip into a hallucination of ceiling grey
produced by the fake … fake
snake, lake, drake, heartache
‘cliinng’, no darling buds will grow in may

my mind finally blank, blue and blinded
I don’t know what is left to say
But notice myself shouting stay
Oh how I was reminded

of you
just disappearing of the grid
your image still burning on my eyelid
with you

Crawling, pushing, pulling myself
I get up and stare into the empty hall
a dozen eyes questioning when I’ll fall
with no one to catch, I’m  the play itself

So I can fall into the tragedy layed out for me
or put on a smile
and make this comedy their worthwhile
So they will only think to see.

I’ll miss you like crazy and will not seize to cry
but still I will never understand nor forget,
which might be my own loss and regret,
as an outworn garment you left me there to die.

Er-minho

Like blown up sand, the time was driven by the wind
Grating my skin in hazy rush
As suddenly there will be no more to enjoy,
Only my burning skin will make me feel like I was there, here
My Reality blown into a castle of my mind
A grand sculpture made to remember, that I was there, here
Every grain with a smiley face, to make an even more beautiful picture
The picture I so love and adore
Which holds the feeling of that perfect moment in which they were whole,
in which we were whole.
Waves gushing over the sand, fading our memory wildly
As you will be no more to me than I will be to you
I’ll hold on to what I was and what you were.
No less than sand, slipping through our fingers and seizing to run through our veins
The pictures in our mind will disappear, only the ones on paper will remain
As that will be the only thing left, we will sculpt it all over again and believe to remember,
Though slightly changed, and bathing more gracefully

And suddenly we’ll know, this was all just a long time ago
A time better than tomorrow and we will pray, that it was again today.

wild blankets rapped around my fragile legs
and my mind has never been so vulnerable
as thoughts sweep me away to a little room
where darkness and light both exist

trapped in between  the whirl of words
I’m being dared to choose
Pictures shoving me against the walls
Brusing me deeply, grilling me

Preparing me to break

The blankets trap me and take away my safe place
My head is no more place to hide
And as walls keep closing around me
The choice Is mine to make

I’ll break anyway

It’ s just a matter of breaking down or breaking out.

My heart goes on a path that will not last

It wonders and it waves

And will finally put me into my grave

 

But for now

it makes my life

And brings me in a higher circling drive

 

My heart

It shakes and crushes

And nourishes me

Till I’ll go spinning

 

I’ll feel happiness

As well as feeling sick

Until I feel it turning

 

My heart

It leaves me where

I was never meant to be

 

Here

Somewhere

There.

Lay my head under the green grass and cover it with the seeds of flowers

So some beauty will still exist

For them to see

I’ve been dragged down to many times

My faces bares the scares of a broken past

The beauty in my eyes faded with every second

It left them dark and black instead of sparkling brown

 

Lay my head under the green peace and use the liveliness of colours

Make a fool look at it

And see

He didn’t touch me

Fool him with the painting that is now my face

The beauty will return as a mask shinning more every second

It will leave me as a starling spell that fools the world

 

Lay my head into the peacefull silence and just a colourfull sight

So I will finally see

The peace

That was never before in me

No more fooling or being fooled

No more scars, no more beauty, just endless seconds

Just a stone left to see, the peace that is now me.